Hello, all you beautiful people who may be reading this. I’m going to give you a bit of background regarding who I am and what I’m about.
It’s been a year that seems to be going on and on. I’m so exhausted. My head feels foggy like I’m looking at life through a dirty fishbowl. Sometimes I get too fidgety and sometimes I start talking so fast that no one can understand me and sometimes I feel like I can conquer the world and I go out and buy ten pairs of shoes and eight different outfits.
And sometimes I can’t pull myself out of bed for hours, and sometimes I go days without speaking to another person, and sometimes I start weeping so hard that my eyeliner runs down my face and stings my eyeballs. It stings a lot, especially when I have my contacts in. I’m Olivia, and
I have manic depression. I am bipolar. It stings every single time I say it. It leaves a weird feeling in my stomach.
Finding a way to live harmoniously with my mood disorder has, putting it politely, been difficult. It’s been an up and down journey, with more downs than ups, and I’m on a strict regimen of mood stabilizers, therapy and lots of sleep. Recovery is far from easy, but in taking this journey I have learned things about myself, and have grown as a person in ways that I could not even imagine. I’m exhausted and I’m a mess and I’m sick, and I look like absolute garbage cause I haven’t exfoliated in like a week and for some reason, I’m starting to grow an unfortunate ten o clock shadow.
But I’m still here. And, if anything, I am still here in spite of what mental illness whispers in my ear, telling me over and over again I’m pathetic, that I’m friendless, and that I would be better off dead and forgotten. I’m still here.
My website is a mess right now and not very good, but it’s me and my disjointed ass writing talking about living with this sucky, tiring thing, among other topics that I think are important, including, but not limited to, mental illness, feminism, body positivity, and intersectionality. Stay tuned, and stay safe everyone. Thanks for reading.