Sometimes, you can have weeks of feeling great…well, maybe not ‘great’ great, but able to keep your head above water. Able to keep your wits while in public, able to go out with friends and attend your classes and go to work and take care of the kids. But, inevitably, those days come. The days where it’s almost too much of a task to even keep breathing, much less being able to keep up with the bustle of daily living. On those days where you can’t get out of bed, on those days where your eyes are bleary with tears and your makeup is smeared onto the pillow and you’re either stuffed from binge eating or starving from not-eating, I need you to remember; this isn’t your fault. And you will not be like this forever. Recovery is not linear, and its highly likely that you will have periods of relapse.
We, as human beings, have our highs and our lows. It gets especially wonky when you are a person, like myself, dealing with depression. We have our lows and our lows and our lows and sometimes we have those good days, those beacons in the dark where it seems like the clouds have faded and it’s finally gone…until they end. There is no concrete ‘cure’ for depression; it’s simply a matter of finding a way to manage it so it doesn’t eat you alive.
And if you’re one of those people in the process of healing, of trying to move on from a dark period of your life, I give you congratulations; it isn’t easy to undergo this process, and many end up backing out. But you have acknowledged that something is wrong, and that this is a struggle that you cannot, that you will not, go through alone. You are braver than you’d ever give yourself credit for. But there will be days where life is so hard and heavy, and you feel like you’re slipping back into that darkness. It’s okay. We all have our days like that, and you shouldn’t stress it so badly that it makes you anxious, or god forbid, that it sends you back into a depressive episode. Take your day, or few days, or even weeks, to sit in bed and watch Netflix and do what you have to do. Then, when it’s passed, get back up and keep pressing on, because you have a lot of people in your corner who are counting on you. Stay healthy.